The Godly Knight Report

Building Meaningful, God-Centered Relationships in a Modern World: Social Media and Its Impact on Relationships

Michael the Archangel Season 1 Episode 3

Is social media transforming your relationships for the better or worse? Uncover the hidden dynamics at play as we dissect how platforms like Instagram and Facebook can distort our perceptions and fuel unnecessary competition. Grounded in biblical wisdom from Romans 12:2 and Galatians 6:4, we discuss the dangers of the comparison trap and the unrealistic standards set by curated images. We promise to offer you practical strategies to renew your mind and focus on your actions to build relationships that honor God.

We’ll also address the very real issues of jealousy and insecurity that social media can magnify. Drawing insights from Proverbs 14:30 and Philippians 4:8, we'll explore how open communication and trust can be bolstered in this digital age. Learn actionable tips for setting boundaries and prioritizing face-to-face interactions, along with the importance of transparency and quality time. We conclude with vital advice on incorporating prayer into your relationships, ensuring that your social media habits nurture, rather than hinder, your connections. Don’t miss this thoughtful discussion on navigating the challenges and opportunities social media presents in our relationships.

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Speaker 1:

Hello, welcome back everyone to the Godly Knight Report. I'm your host, michael the Archangel, and today we're bringing you the third episode in our relationship series. Now, today we're diving into a topic that affects nearly every relationship in modern life Social media. In modern life, social media. Whether we like it or not, social media has become a massive part of how we connect with others, especially in relationships. But while social media can bring people together, it also brings challenges that we need to be aware of. In today's episode, we'll explore how social media impacts relationships and dating and, more importantly, how we can navigate it in a way that honors God and strengthens our relationships. Let's open with a prayer Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of relationships and the technology that allows us to connect with others. As we explore how social media affects our relationships today, we ask for your wisdom and guidance to use these platforms in a way that brings us closer to you and to those we care about, way that brings us closer to you and to those we care about. Help us to guard our hearts and honor you in everything we do, in Jesus's name, amen.

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Now, there's no denying it Social media is everywhere. You can't get away from it. It's all over the place, from Facebook to Instagram, tiktok to Twitter. These platforms are shaping how we interact with one another. On one hand, social media can be a great tool for staying connected with loved ones and sharing life's moments, but on the other hand, it can create unrealistic expectations and distort our views of relationships. So let's start by looking at Romans, chapter 12, verse 2, which says do not conform to the pattern of social media. This verse challenges us to approach online interactions differently than the world does. Of getting caught up in comparison, jealousy or seeking validation, we're called to renew our minds and focus on God's truth.

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Now let's talk a little bit about the influence that social media has on the perception of relationships. Yes, perception is the key word here. So social media often shows us like a highlight reel of other people's lives. It shows us the best and most polished moments of someone's life. But behind those perfectly curated images and posts, there's often a more complex reality.

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One major issue we see today is the use of filters and photo editing. Yes, you can filter and edit photos now, and you don't even need Photoshop to do it Now. These tools, you know, make people and relationships look more perfect than they really are. They create an illusion of perfection that leads people to false perceptions. This brings us to what's known as the comparison trap.

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Now, the comparison trap is when we begin measuring our own relationships, or even our own lives, and even our own persons, ourselves, our self image, our physical, bodily image, against the the false, curated, filtered images that we see online. You might find yourself scrolling through Instagram and thinking why doesn't my relationship look like that? Or why isn't my life as exciting as theirs? Oh, that dress really looks good on her. Why doesn't it look as good on me? But the truth is, you're not seeing the full picture, just a carefully selected, often edited moment in someone's life. Social media doesn't show the struggles, the arguments. It doesn't show what it takes to keep that grass so green on the other side, or the imperfections that are part of every real relationship.

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The danger of the comparison trap is that it leads to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction With yourself or with your life, or with the efforts you're making in your own life, or in your relationships or in your marriages. Instead of being grateful for the blessings in our own lives, we start to focus on what we think we're missing. Now I want you to think about it for a minute. Yeah, I said it again. I want you to think about that. It's what we think we're missing. It's in our heads. We might feel that our relationships don't measure up or that we need to change something to meet these unrealistic standards. This can create unnecessary pressure in relationships, making us feel like we're not enough or that our relationships aren't as successful as others, that our lives don't look as good as someone else's life. The comparison trap also encourages a false sense of competition. You feel like you have to compete with others, or this old saying I once heard as a kid was keeping up with the Joneses. Instead of supporting and celebrating others, we begin to view them as competition. This attitude creates division, even with close friends or loved ones.

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We might start to feel resentment or jealousy towards people we care about, because we're comparing our behind the scenes moments to their highlight reels, and that's just what it is. We're seeing our lives from behind the scenes. We're seeing every moment of our lives because we're living it, but we forget that when we're looking at Facebook or when we're looking at Instagram or any other social media platform. What we're forgetting is we're seeing the best moments, the handpicked moments. The best moments, the hand-picked moments, those things that you know they're proud to show off, but they're not showing us what goes on behind the scenes. We're not seeing the struggle, we're not seeing the manipulation. We're not seeing the adultery, the sin. We're not seeing any of that. All we're seeing is all the happy moments, all the good times, all the accomplishments. The achievements, the new purchases, the new car, the new home, the new boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, the vacation to Cancun. We're seeing all that stuff. We're not seeing the arguments or the struggles. We're not seeing that. And so we're comparing what we see in our own lives, because we live it 24-7, and we're comparing that to what we see in these quote-unquote highlight reels.

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Galatians, chapter 6, verse 4, tells us Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else. This scripture is a powerful reminder that God calls us to focus on our own journey and not fall into the trap of comparing our lives to others, especially when the images we see online are often far from reality. Social media gives us a snapshot, not the full picture, of life. We need to remember that real relationships those that are built on love, trust and sacrifice go far deeper than what any filtered post or highlight reel can show.

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Now, another major impact social media has is on the world of dating. Oh, yeah, yeah. With the rise of dating apps like Tinder, bumble and a whole host of others, we've seen a shift in how people connect. Instead of building deep relationships with people, these platforms often promote surface-level connections, where the focus is on looks and instant chemistry rather than true compatibility. This has led to a culture of instant gratification, otherwise known as the hookup culture, which we talked about in the previous episode.

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If something doesn't feel perfect right away, people tend to move on quickly. Think about that. That's how marriages are today, too. If it doesn't feel right right away, people are quick to pull out divorce papers and walk. This mindset is the opposite of the patience and perseverance we're called to in biblical relationships. Proverbs, chapter 19, verse 2, says Desire without knowledge is not good. How much more will hasty feet miss the way? Much more will hasty feet miss the way. In other words, rushing into relationships without a solid foundation can lead to mistakes and missed opportunities for deeper and more meaningful connections.

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So let's talk about some of the specific dangers social media can bring into relationships about some of the specific dangers social media can bring into relationships, and let's start with probably the biggest one jealousy and insecurity. Now, social media can easily stir up jealousy and insecurity in relationships, especially when partners are constantly, consistently interacting with others online. And you know what I mean. It's when your partner is sitting there and they've got their face buried in their phone, they're on social media and they're scrolling through somebody else's account and they're looking at the pictures and they're liking everything. Pictures and they're liking everything. They're putting hearts and everything and emojis and whatnot on everything and then maybe even sliding into somebody's DMs. It's not uncommon for someone to feel jealous when they see their significant other liking or commenting on someone else's posts. When they see their significant other liking or commenting on someone else's posts, like even harmless interactions can spark feelings of inadequacy, making you question your own worth in the relationship. And then there's the fear of missing out or FOMO.

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When we see friends or influencers posting pictures of their romantic getaways or perfect date nights, it can make us feel like we're missing something in our own relationships, in our own marriage. This constant comparison feeds insecurity and dissatisfaction. I mean, think about it. I think we've all been there at some point where we've, you know, been on TikTok or YouTube. Or you know they're out. They're out to dinner. You know, maybe they're on a cruise. Um, we know, maybe it's a husband and wife together sitting on a plane, I don't know looking out the window or something. The point I'm trying to make is you, you see these, you see these things, and then you feel insecure about your own life, or you feel, you know, unfulfilled or dissatisfied with your own life, your own relationship or your own marriage, because your life or relationship or marriage doesn't live up to the images that you're seeing, even though those images are hand hand picked to be put on display, and then you've got unrealistic standards of beauty and success. They also play a huge role with the advent of filters and editing tools making people look more attractive or successful than they really are.

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It's easy to feel like you're not enough for your partner or that your relationship doesn't measure up. These feelings can lead to trust issues, where partners begin to question each other's motives, even when there's nothing wrong. Partners begin to question each other's motives even when there's nothing wrong. However, over time, these small moments can build up into larger trust issues, especially if open communication about online behavior is lacking. Proverbs, chapter 14, verse 30, warns us. It warns us A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. In other words, jealousy and insecurity, if it's left unchecked, can erode the foundation of a relationship. It can eat away at it. So how do you overcome these issues? Well, it starts with open communication. Open communication open communication is the oxygen of any relationship, of any friendship, of any marriage. Open communication you have to have it. Partners need to talk about their social media habits. Yeah, you need to talk about it, and you need to discuss with each other how it affects one another.

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Put it out there, get it out in the open. Let your spouse or your partner know that, hey, you know I'm not comfortable with somebody. You know on some other woman's or some other guy's. You know facebook posts or instagram liking and hearting, everything that makes me feel uncomfortable. Put it out there, get it out of the way. If you issues, lay it on the table at the door. Don't. Don't wait until six months, in a year, in three years and when it you know, when it becomes something crazy and nasty. No, do it from the door. Be that authentic self. Be yourself from the gate. That way, there are no surprises later on. Just put it out there. These are my triggers. This is what bothers me. This is what I don't like. This is a red flag for me. This is a deal breaker for me. Put it out there me. Put it out there.

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It's also important to remember that we see online is you know that what we see online is is often just a highlight reel. I mean, it's not the whole story, I can't put it any other way. It's it's just a highlight reel. You know all the best moments for you to see on display and you got to keep that in mind when you're online looking at this stuff. You got to keep that in mind, because anything that looks great, it always takes work to make it great and to keep it great. It always takes work to make it great and to keep it great. So there's always something going on behind the scenes to keep that looking so good and you got to keep that in mind.

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No relationship is perfect, and basing our own relationships on what we see on social media will only lead to dissatisfaction, because there's no such thing as a perfect, flawless relationship. It just doesn't happen. Ephesians, chapter 4, verses 31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other. Just as, in Christ, god forgave you, so it's essential to approach these conversations with grace and understanding, remembering that no relationship is perfect and forgiveness is the key. When mistakes are made made, forgiveness is vital.

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So how can we use social media with intention and integrity? So social media does have its challenges. It does, but it doesn't mean that we have to abandon it completely. Instead, we can use it with intention, with integrity, with honesty. One way would be to set boundaries. One of the most important things you can do is set boundaries around your social media use. Set boundaries around your social media use. This can mean limiting the time you spend on apps or being open with your partner about who you interact with online. That's a tough one, but anything worth doing, anything worth having, is worth doing. So if you want that relationship, to that marriage, to be good, be honest. Let them know what you're doing on social media. Don't hide it. Let them know. If you want that relationship to let marriage, to be good, be honest. Let them know what you're doing on social media. Don't hide it. Let them know.

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Be mindful of your content on social media. Think about what you post and how it reflects your values and your faith. Are you glorifying God in your online interactions? Are you building others up or are you contributing to a culture of comparison? Social media can be used for good it really can If you do it with intention. Philippians, chapter 4, verse 8, encourages us that whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. This is a great reminder to make sure our social media presence and use aligns with God's standards of purity and truth.

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Now, if you want to build a strong, god-centered relationship, you need to prioritize face-to-face interactions. Now. Social media can help you stay connected with people, but it's no substitute for real in-person quality time. That's something that bothers me quite a bit. I feel very strongly about this, something that bothers me quite a bit. I feel very strongly about this.

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Phones, smart devices, are great. Smartphones are awesome. I love. You know I'm a technology person. I'm a big tech nerd, can't help myself and I can tell you I love phones. I love the technology that goes into phones. They're great.

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However, the one thing that they do that really irks me is it cuts off the actual face-to-face interactions with people. Now people are hiding behind their devices. Now I can understand shooting somebody a text or something. If you're going to be late or trying to come up with last minute dinner plans or something, you want to send a quick message or something? Yeah, sure, go for it. But one of the things that irks me so much is that some people try to have whole relationships over a phone, through a text message or through FaceTime or Facebook Messenger. I've seen people break up with people through text message. I've seen people catfish other people you know through their phone. And then, of course, you've got whole houses of people living together and, rather than going and seeing each other face to face or texting each other, they could be sitting in the same room right across from each other, and they'll pull their phone out and text the person across the room from them. This is ridiculous.

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What a lot of people don't understand is SMS messaging. The SMS actually stands for something. Sms at one time meant short messaging system, and so SMS at one time meant short messaging system, and so the name. The meaning is in the name. There was supposed to be short messages, not novels or soliloquies or essays to be sent out.

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Text messaging has turned into a replacement for face to face interactions, and it's not just text messaging. Text messaging has turned into a replacement for face-to-face interactions, and it's not just text messaging, it's social media itself. It's just turned face-to-face interactions into something that nobody wants to do. Now people are cowering and hiding behind their phones. It's sad. You try to approach someone face face and talk to them, and they look at you as if you're a dinosaur that just escaped from the stone age and made it to the future somehow. It's crazy.

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Now, accountability and transparency are also crucial. You need to be open with your partner about your social media use and ensure that both of you are on the same page when it comes to online boundaries. Trust is built through honesty, and that includes being transparent about your online habits. Let's go to Proverbs, chapter 27, verse 17. And it says as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. This verse reminds us that relationships are meant to build each other up, and that can only happen when we're intentional about how we spend our time, both online and offline.

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So I want to give you some practical steps you can take to protect your relationships from social media's potential dangers. Limit screen time, limit your time on your phone. Set daily limits for how much time you spend on social media. By reducing distractions, you'll have more time to invest in real-world connections with your partner or your loved ones. You can actually have those face-to-face connections that build trust, that build love.

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Do regular check-ins. Make it a habit to check in with your partner about how social media is affecting your relationship. Talk to them about it. Have honest conversations about online interactions that might be causing tension in your relationship or in your marriage. You really need to talk about it. You really need to put it out there.

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Take what I call a social media Sabbath day. So you take one day a week to completely unplug from social media and you use that time to focus on quality time with your partner, your friends or family, without the distraction of phones or notifications. One day, just put it down for one day and just spend that time with friends and family, or your or your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, you know. Put it down. You can also unfollow or mute accounts that cause comparison, so like, if certain accounts make you feel jealous or insecure, then it's OK to unfollow or mute them. Protect your own peace by by curating a feed that uplifts and encourages you. So yeah, on Facebook especially, you can mute certain certain things that come into your news feed. You can mute it, you can unfollow so that they don't show up in it. If it causes you to feel jealous or insecure about your own life or your own relationship, or even your own body, yeah, you can shut that stuff down so you don't have to see it.

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Now, if you're going to be on social media, you may as well, you know, make it so that when you look at it, it's encouraging you, it's uplifting you, it's making you smile, it's bringing you some joy, some satisfaction. You know be intentional about what you're posting. So, before you post something, ask yourself why you're sharing it. Are you seeking validation? Are you seeking validation? Are you seeking attention? Or is it something meaningful that you're posting? Keep your motives aligned with your values. Discuss social media boundaries with your partner. So have an open discussion about what you're both comfortable with when it comes to social media interactions. Setting up clear boundaries can help avoid misunderstandings and build trust with each other. Again, like I said before, put it out there, talk about it, be honest with each other.

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This one's kind of important. This one leads to a lot of issues, and that is don't engage in private messaging with the opposite sex without transparency. So if you're in a committed relationship, you need to be cautious about private messaging with others sliding into other people's DMs, especially those of the opposite sex. You need to be transparent with your partner if you want to build trust with your partner. Yeah, you got to cut that out. You know, don't don't sit there and be sending messages you know to to members of the opposite sex.

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Now, if it's a friend or a family member, fine, but if it's some random person that you saw on Facebook or Instagram, because you know she posted a hot picture of herself, or it's some guy that you saw on Facebook or Instagram and you know he's there with his shirt off and you know he's got a nice toned body, six pack abs, and you're just losing your mind and you just want to slide a message to him. No, stop that, cut that out. That right, there is one of the biggest problems of social media. That right, there is one of the things that causes the most issues in relationships. That needs to stop If you're going to message somebody of the opposite sex. You need to be transparent about it. Let your partner know what you're doing and if you're sending them a message, make sure it's something wholesome or something meaningful or something necessary. Make sure it's something wholesome or something meaningful or something necessary. If you cut out this one step right here, you'll eliminate a lot of the issues that you have around social media with your partners.

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Use social media for uplifting purposes. No-transcript. It's a platform where you can. You can express yourself any way you choose to. So why not? You know, instead of just sitting there scrolling through and looking at everybody else's stuff, why don't you add something positive? Why don't you put something in there to make somebody smile? Or people are always going through hard times going through hard times. You could always post something that one person might see and it might brighten their day or it might help them to see there's a light at the end of the tunnel. You never know whose life you're going to be touching.

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Set a no phones rule during quality time. So say like during meals or date nights or important conversations put the phone away. Give your undivided attention to the person that you're with. Now this here can be a problem. A lot of people see this as an issue.

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When you got that phone out, you know, when you're sitting down to have a meal together, or you're out on a date or something, or they're trying to talk to you, have an important conversation with you, and you've got your phone in your hand and you're looking at your phone instead of looking at them. I've been there previous relationship where I was trying to talk to someone about something really important and they had their head buried in their phone and I asked them to give me their undivided attention if they could put it away and they chose to keep looking at their phone and I felt at that point like I was not important. I felt like they didn't care what I had to say. Um, I felt like they didn't care about me. I felt like they didn't care about me. So I know for a fact that if I felt that way, then other people feel that way too when it happens. So, putting that phone away during quality time, when you're spending time with your significant other, with your husband or your wife, or if it's family and you're having a meal together, you guys are all out together. Or if it's family and you're having a meal together, you guys are all out together, or if there's a really important conversation you got to have with someone, put that phone away, put it away, put it on silent Until it's over.

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And of course, probably the most important one when I say for last, and that is Pray together for your relationship. Make prayer a regular part of your relationship. Ask God for wisdom and guidance in navigating social media and protecting your connection. Bringing God into the center of your relationship will never hurt your relationship. Your relationship, your marriage will always flourish. It will always grow. It will thrive.

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Yes, you will still have bad times, but as long as God is there in the midst of you, he will carry you through that bad time and you will become stronger as a unit, as as a team, as a partnership, as husband and wife, as boyfriend and girlfriend, as two friends. Even you will become stronger. Your connection will become stronger because God is there to nurture your relationship. He is there to offer wisdom and guidance in everything that needs to be done. You can't go wrong when you put him in the middle of it. You can't.

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1 Corinthians 10, verse 31 tells us so. Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Everything we do, including how we engage with social media, should reflect our desire to honor God. Even in your relationships, it should reflect your desire to honor God. So I want to give you my closing thoughts here on social media's impact on relationships. Social media has the potential to bring people closer together it definitely does but it also has the power to create distance. As Christians, we need to be intentional about how we use it in our relationships. What we see online is often just a small, curated part of the story, and it's a small, handpicked part of the story, and we should avoid falling into the trap of comparison. Matthew, chapter 6, verse 21, says For where your treasure is there, your heart will also be. If we treasure our relationships and invest time in them, both online and offline, our hearts will be aligned with God's purpose.

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If social media is causing jealousy or insecurity in your relationships, then I encourage you to bring those feelings to God, pray for peace, pray for clarity and for strength to overcome those emotions, because jealousy and insecurity are no joke. They are very strong emotions, very strong, very damaging emotions. Jealousy and insecurity have no place in the relationships that God has designed for us. If we follow his design, we won't have to worry about jealousy or insecurity. They won't be there. They're weapons to be used against us, to tear us down, to tear us apart, to turn us against each other. Remember that real connection happens offline.

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If you find that social media is distracting you from your relationships, then take a step back and focus on in-person, face-to-face communication. Take a step back and focus on in-person, face-to-face communication. Remember that strong relationships are built on trust, sacrifice and intentional love, not on likes or comments. I mean, come on. Face-to-face is how we got started, before social media, before smartphones, before the invention of the telephone. Even. How do we talk to each other Face to face? How do we fall in love with each other? Face to face. We went out on dates, we went out on picnics, we went out on walks together, we worked together. Can't count how many times I've heard people say they met somebody at work. They met somebody at church, at the grocery store, at the library, because of face-to-face interactions. Because of face-to-face interactions. Proverbs, chapter 27, verse 17 comes to mind Again. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another, and I bring that up again to emphasize that we need to build each other up through real, meaningful interactions, these interactions that strengthen our relationships in ways that social media never can and never will. Social media can't do that.

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As you reflect on this episode, consider how social media is impacting your own relationships. Is it helping you connect more deeply or is it creating distance? Are you using it to glorify God or is it becoming a source of distraction or insecurity? I advise you to take time to evaluate, set boundaries and invite God into your relationships, both online and offline. You can't go wrong. God loves us all. He wants the best for all of us. You can't go wrong with him being there. You can't do better than having him there.

Speaker 1:

Now I want to close this episode with a prayer. Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of relationships and for the tools we have to connect with others, like social media. We ask for your wisdom as we navigate these platforms, that we may use them in a way that honors you and strengthens our relationships and our marriages. Help us to guard our hearts and keep focused on you and everything we do In Jesus' name, amen. Now I want to thank you for joining me on another episode of the Godly Night Report.

Speaker 1:

I hope today's episode has given you some valuable insights on how to navigate social media in your relationships. If you'd like to connect with me or share your thoughts, you can reach out on our Facebook page or you can email me at thegodlynightreport at gmailcom. There are also links in the episode description. If you'd like to support the show, you can buy me a coffee. Coffee does taste good. Your support helps keep the show going and I'm so grateful for every contribution. You can find the link in the description or visit buymeacoffeecom. Slash the godly knight report and don't forget, share this episode with your friends and family. Share it with anyone that you feel would benefit from hearing it. Let's spread the message of building God-centered relationships as far and as wide as we possibly can. Until next time, stay rooted in God's love and remember that God is always there for you. Even when you're not there for him, he's always there for you. I'll see you in the next episode. God bless, stay safe, people.

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